Purpose

Prince of Peace by Akiane Kramarik

I've been struggling with what my purpose in life is. What it looks like. Is it Just Love Coffee, Is it selling all of my possessions and working on the streets of Nashville? I was so frustrated because I didn't know what God's will was for me. I was more than frustrated. I was angry. I have been praying, meditating, reading scripture, reading theological books; everything I can absorb to find God's will for my life. 

My spiritual mentor, Ken Carlson, and I started 40 days of prayer today. My two main objectives were to renew my relationship with my children who are all older now and for me to align my will with God's will for my life. Ken started with the reading of two passages. One from Matthew 11:27 and another from John 17:21. We read the passages together and discussed them. We talked a bit more before praying and then Ken asked me how I would like for the prayer to go. Did I just want to pray, should he come in after I finish, or interject during my prayer? I told him that I didn't want to lay out a form for the prayer. i would start and what happened from there we would leave up to the Holy Spirit. 

I started praying and talking about how I have been searching and searching for what God wanted me to do in life. I expressed my frustrations; I prayed for the relationship with my kids to be healed. Then as I continued to pray, the more conversational it became, and it actually felt like a conversation with God. About 3/4 of the way in I realized that what God's will for me in my life was and it was staring right at me in the passages we read just prior to the prayer. 

20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me."

God wants me to know Him. He wants all of us to know Him. "May they also be in Us so that the world may believe that you have sent me." Once I said it out loud, I knew it was true. There's no denying that God wants me to know Him and be one with Him. Just like I want my kids to know me. My kids love me, but they don't know me because we don't have a relationship and furthermore, I'm not the same person I was when they were growing up in the house. The only difference in this comparison is that I am full of sin and Christ is perfect. My sins have hurt my relationship with my kids, but nonetheless I yearn for a relationship with them. And if I yearn for a relationship with my kids, how much more does God yearn for a relationship with me? This epiphany doesn't answer directly what I should be doing in my work (or my ministry as Ken is trying to get my head wrapped around the idea that Just Love is my ministry, not my business), but it kind of does. If I know God, Christ, & The Holy Spirit, then there really is no question of what I should be doing in my work or how I should be spending my time. That will be a natural byproduct of my relationship and knowing Him. 

So now that I am trying to align my will with the will of God for my life, I shall get started. I have to immerse myself into His word, into prayer with Him, into helping the poor, orphans, widows, the least of these. I have to get as close to Christ as I possibly can, no matter what that means for me. I just can't believe how easy the answer was. I was looking for some sign from God to tell me what to do with my life and maybe one day that will happen, but until that day comes, I will align my will with the one thing I know God wants me to do. And that is to know Him.